January 23, 2015
I haven't posted in a long, long time. I think about it periodically. Generally, when I have something I need to get off my chest, I avoid blogging like the plague. I have a very small audience, to be sure. But said audience is made up of the key players in my life, and there is a 99.9% chance that something I want or need to say will involve said key players or someone they know.
That said, I've thought about starting an entirely different blog from the two I currently have. The question is, do I move all my content and/or shut the others down? That would certainly make me more identifiable to certain people, so I'm thinking that's a fat "NO."
Do I tell the people I trust about the new blog? It would be nice to have a sense of not only getting things out into the world, but to know they've been seen. Though how can I do that without ending up in this very same predicament?
Remember when we all used to think there would be a day in our not-too-distant future that we would have some great "A-ha!" moment, and our life's meaning would suddenly become apparent?
August 9, 2013
I knew it had been quite a while since I posted, but damn.
I'm only posting because I'm lazy. Makes perfect sense, right? Let me 'splain, Lucy: I decided a few days ago that it was time to take a break from social media. This morning, I locked down my Facebook account to restrict any activity on my page, sent a brief message to the group of people I interact with the most on that site, typed a one-word status update, "Sabbatical", and logged out. I also posted an update to my flickr page that I was taking a break. I then changed my "homepage" settings in my browser so that it no longer opened Facebook upon startup and created a folder on my iPod for all social media apps and moved it to the last screen (you know, that screen you put all those apps that you will never use but can't delete because Apple thinks you need a place to check your stocks and such).
True to form, two very good friends of mine sent me text messages to check on me and ask what's up. Cody also asked about it when he called at lunch. Realizing that there may be several people asking the very same question(s), I decided to post the most basic of answers here in order to prevent myself having to type it all out over and over. That's not to say I won't interact with anyone or answer questions about the subject, but if we're all at least in the same chapter, it will be much easier to get us on the same page.
That being said, something happened this week which gave me pause. I spoke to a group of people, and since it was recorded, I posted a link to it on my Facebook page, as did the person who recorded it. I also sent a link to my parents, who knew that I was planning to speak, and had expressed an interest in hearing it.
I can not possibly overstate the blessing it has been to hear the feedback of those who listened and then spoke to me or messaged me after. It truly has been an awesome, and in some ways challenging dialogue.
What gave me pause, however, is how deeply and viscerally the hurt felt when I realized that only one person outside of the group had clicked on that link and said anything about it. Even my parents have said absolutely nothing.
I did not speak to this group for my own pride or sense of self-importance. I did not go into the experience expecting anything, and I did not anticipate anything. I was so focused on what to say and how to say it that I really didn't have time to give voice to those possibilities. I even kept the plan to speak private, rather than advertise it. It may have been a selfish decision, but I knew that if I had shared that info with people and some of them showed up to hear me speak, I would have been unable to do what needed to be done.
That being said, once I realized just how hurt, confused, disappointed, etc. that I felt, I knew that I was entirely way too dependent upon others for my sense of self.
The voices reminding me of all those who didn't say anything were drowning out the voices of all those who did.
The negative feelings of not being heard were distracting me from the awesome feeling of the appreciation shown to me by those who did hear.
I began to realize that, not only was social media the vehicle which pointed all of this out to me, it is also the vehicle which gives me that false sense of connection with the world around me. And when push comes to shove, you're left staring at a cursor on a screen and a keyboard on your lap. That's where I invested a lot of my Self.
Not that it's all bad. I connect with friends and family, whom I love, and it allows me to be a part of their lives when time or distance would make that otherwise impossible.
Part of this, I admit, may be my tried-and-true way of dealing with situations I don't like: I just pretend everything is fine until I forget. But the bigger part, the more important part, is relishing what is real and focusing on what's important to me without the worry of whether others approve.
July 5, 2012
I'm not entirely sure what a "craw" is, but I imagine mine must somehow resemble a pin-cushion; it constantly has things stuck in it. While I have not posted here in quite some time, I do have a Microsoft Word document on my laptop with a rough outline of something I've decided to write about. That posts will come later, hopefully. For now, I need to focus on something else.
June 7, 2011
I don't *really* have time to post today, either.
I need to hop in the shower, or more accurately for the literalists among us, I need to go wash my body in the shower.
I also need to water the veggies and annuals this morning. There is a "chance" of spotty thunderstorms today, but with the amount of heat we'll be getting, that's a chance I'd rather not take.
I also need to go pack my book bag. No class since Thursday and working on homework for four different classes at different times throughout the weekend has a tendency to make my desk a tad jumbled.
School is going well; I find myself enjoying it more than I thought I would. Oddly enough, most of my preconceived notions have been turned on their ear in this first week.
I thought I would prefer my two online courses over my two campus-based courses. Not so much. I actually like going to class more than being left to my own devices.
I thought I would hate Beginning Algebra I, or at the very least, like the other three courses way more than math. Turns out that of the 4, algebra is my favorite class thus far.
Who is this guy?
March 10, 2011
I didn't write this post as a post. It's actually an email to my parents that I copied and pasted here because I'm too lazy to write anymore. It is, however, pretty much what I would write if I were to create a new post, so there's that.
I haven't touched base with you guys in so long! I miss you. Just wanted to send out a quick note to let you know that and to try and update you on what's up with me lately.
Registration for the summer term started this week, and I've found that I need to take the placement tests even if I'm not registering for math or english this time around. Apparently, they want to make sure you can read and write before taking classes....
I *attempted* to go take the tests yesterday morning, but I got seriously lost and confused once I drove onto the campus. I start to have a bit of an anxiety attack, got frustrated and left. The buildings aren't very well marked for vehicle traffic (a lot of signs on the sidewalks in front of buildings you can't read from the road), and I had NO clue where to park or what building to go to. Not to mention the hordes of students trying to get to and from their classes in the rain.
I came home and called Cody's brother, who works for the college, and told him where I needed to go and he straightened me out. So I'll make another attempt this morning, with hopefully better results. :)
I was still kind of worked up on my way home, so I didn't do the other thing I had intended to do either, which was to pick up an application. The Aldi located between here and the campus is (or was as of last weekend) hiring cashiers at $11.00/hr. Not my dream job, but that's a decent wage for the work.
As far as my major, I'm still pulled in 452 different directions about that mentally and emotionally. I realized several weeks ago during choir practice that I was doing what I loved to do, and I was finally in a position to maybe follow that passion. I don't know where that would lead me, but that's just another item on a long list of things I don't know right now. :)
I told Pastor Allen a few weeks ago when we met for dinner that while I think I *would/could* be a good nurse, I don't really *want* to be a nurse. I like the idea of it, and I've heard so many people tell me I "should be" a nurse, or would be good at it, I think I've just kind of internalized everyone else telling me their good intentions and lost my own along the way.
A friend mentioned a week or so ago that I should get my nursing degree, minor in music, and then work as a music therapist. I latched onto that, and before I knew it, I was looking at nursing programs again. To be a certified music therapist, you do need a bachelors degree, with a focus on either music or psychology/medicine. Well, when I realized I was headed down the wrong road, I reigned myself in and stopped that train before it left the station.
So, long story short, I still feel like a 17-year-old being handed my diploma and trying to figure out, "What do I want to 'BE' when I grow up?"
For right now at least, I'm okay with not knowing. I'm going to start taking classes and work toward a degree, and I'm sure I'll get Guidance along the way. In the meantime, I have to be realistic and get a job though. This time around, though, I'm going to make my job work around me instead of the other way around.
God didn't bring me this far for me to get back into debt again, but I know He didn't plan for me to be a slave to money, either.
So that's all (or most all, anyway) the news that's fit to print. How are you two doing?
Love and miss you,
February 17, 2011
I'm feeling a bit frozen in time. Encapsulated by my lack of direction. I need to move forward, but my compass is spinning in circles, and I don't know which way to go. I didn't really have a grand plan when I left my job before Christmas. I was totally okay with that.
I didn't expect to be working at my dream job by now or anything, and I'm not in a financial panic yet. I still have a little more breathing room. I'm just a little disappointed. I took a big leap into the abyss, and now have an opportunity to do pretty much whatever the hell I want to (within reason, of course), yet I'm like the proverbial 5 year old child. "I want to be a firefighter." "No, now I want to be a race car driver." "I think I'll be a dentist."
I thought I had it figured out. Then, while watching TV sometime in the last couple of weeks, I saw a commercial for a school that I won't mention (for reasons I won't delve into), and it started me on a Google search for some answers to a few new questions. Turns out I could accomplish way more by attending a community college for WAY less money than the other program I was all set to sign up for. It would take twice as long to earn my degree and sit for my license, but I would be sitting for my RN versus my LPN. For a little more than half the money.
Okay, same direction, different path. I can do this. Then something changed. Some voice in the back of my mind said, "You really love 'this'. Are you sure you want to head in that direction, when this one is now open to you for the first time?"
I hate those voices sometimes.
So now I have a whole slew of questions I need to ask myself. A whole new set of answers and ideas to consider.
Being a grown-up kinda sucks, don't it?
February 6, 2011
These last few days have been interesting for me. Plans are changing. Relationships shifting. Hurt and fear are moving forward in a new light. Love and joy are superseding pain and heartache.
Yet what of the rest? There are so many emotions the human mind is capable of feeling, hearing, creating, expressing... Where does Joy go when Fear shows up? Does Confusion destroy Enlightenment and create the need for a complete reconstruction? Is it an emotional tug-of-war match in which the opposing forces are ever-present, despite the strength of one being greater than the other for a season? Or is it an all-out annihilation of the weaker? Do we need to create each, in and of itself, every single time?
To be honest, for if I can not be honest here, then where?, these thoughts permeate my heart and soul this morning. It's a gorgeous morning. The sun coexists with the snow and cold. The snow blankets everything this morning after the storm. Yet I know that there is life under the snow. If I could melt away the snow in my garden, you would see barren ground, with no evidence of life but the remains of previous life dead and gone. But it's not gone. It's under the earth. Resting. Waiting. Preparing itself for a new day, and a fresh glory. It will build on the life lived and spent in years prior, with a similarity that I know I've seen that blossom before, but here it is again new and fresh.
The wilted leaves and fronds lying dead and decaying under the snow indicate barrenness. A cold, harsh reminder that nothing lasts. Oh, but how wrong we are to brush those tattered remnants aside and assume all hope is lost. There is life, abundant, fresh life under the frozen earth. It waits for but the hint of Spring, with it's Warmth and Sun. It has rested from the strain of showing itself proud in seasons past. It is renewed and ready. It will break through the earth and be beautiful again. If you but blink, you will miss the splendor of it's rebirth.
You see, it's not simply the day or two that it shows forth the beauty of it's blossom that gives the flower it's purpose. It desires to reproduce and spread it love and beauty to farther and farther reaches of the Garden in which it lives, yes. Yet the pure Joy, and the unrestrained Stretching of it's support, the Growth of it's tender yet vital Leaves, all learning, yearning and beautiful holds so much Wisdom and Virtue.
If you come to my Garden, you may see it Sprouting. Another day, and you may see it Budding. If you play your cards right, and you plan ahead, you may see my Garden in Bloom. There is Beauty and Glory on each of those days. Still, I can't help but feel and know in my Heart that the Wisdom, the Real Magic, and the Lesson comes from the Less-Beautiful, Less-Glorious days of Growth and Preparation.
To the Visitor, it may seem that the Garden has miraculously sprung from the Earth to show it's Beauty and Grace in a show reserved simply for them. They would not be wrong.
The Greater Truth, and the Real Beauty is shown through to the One Who tends the Garden. The Blessing of Growth and Learning and Tending. The real and true miracle of life is seen in the daily growth and care, my friends.
The Blossoms are but a Bonus...
This post is dedicated to and inspired by the life, love and smile of Peggy Corrigan.
January 24, 2011
According to my browser, it is currently 6 degrees outside, with a "Real Feel" of -3 degrees. I don't care who ya' are; that's just damn cold. Suffice to say, I am SO ready for spring!
Yeah, I know, I haven't posted in a while. I've thought about it a handful of times, but just never did. The good news is, the "new & improved" office is 98% complete! I've combined my office/guest room with Cody's office to make one large office for the both of us.
The other room is pretty much on hold right now, unfortunately. The guest bed is leaning up against the wall in there right now waiting to be taken to it's new home. Once that happens, I'll be able to finish cleaning up in there and hang clothing rods to turn it into a giant walk-in closet. Okay, maybe not giant to the rest of the world, but giant to the two of us!
After that, I'll be able to turn the clothes closet in the guest room into a storage closet. This house is seriously lacking in storage space, and being able to install out-of-the-way storage shelving will make a HUGE difference!
Since I can't do much more with either of those rooms for the next couple of weeks, I can now focus my attentions elsewhere. Like what I'm going to do with my life. You know; stuff like that. I've picked the choir music from church that people have turned in over the last few weeks, and that all needs to be filed. I also have to sort through the practice CD-RWs and clear them off for future use. Pretty innocuous stuff.
I've only got one more Sunday off from choir, so I need to get crackin' on "lesson plans" and figure out what direction we'll be heading in once rehearsals start back up in February. A few people have inquired about whether or not we'll have any kind of choir program at Easter, and truth be told, I have no idea what the answer is.
In addition to all that, I need to be studying math some more. I have an appointment to check out a school on Wednesday, and if that meeting goes well, I'll be taking an entrance exam in the near future. I'm pretty rusty on my simple math since I have relied on calculators for so long. On top of that, I have to refresh myself on certain equations and such as well.
Then I have that whole "job" thing to look forward to. I'll be waiting until Wednesday to follow through with anything on that front though. I need to find out the average workload for a student at this particular school before signing on to a new job. Making sure that there are enough hours left in the day for homework will be a pretty important factor in any job I seek.
Added to the joyous list above is the fact that I simply have to get my weight back under control. My pants are all too tight, and the scale has reached a number that I'm extremely unhappy with. So now I have to try and fit in a bit of exercise, too. With me not working, there really is no reason for me to not exercise. Don't get me wrong; I could totally give you a whole list of excuses.
January 14, 2011
Yeah, I wish.
It's still cold. There is still snow on the ground. I'm still not a fan of either.
Now that we've dispensed with the obvious information, let's move on.
I was quite relieved this morning. As of yesterday afternoon, the school I have been considering attending had not updated their website to reflect any new dates for admission testing. The last date listed was yesterday, and I just was not prepared enough to feel comfortable taking the test that soon. So I spent a fair portion of yesterday afternoon and evening thoroughly *convinced* that I had missed the last opportunity to take the test for the spring class, and would have to wait until fall.
Waking up and checking their site this morning, I was able to take a deep breath. They have scheduled two more dates, which means I have not completely dropped the ball yet! In addition to that, I learned from my brother a couple of days ago that there is at least one game for my Nintendo DS that focuses strictly on math. I have a couple of those "brain games" already, and while they do include some math problems, I'm excited to find these other games that don't have all the other distractions.
I can't believe I just talked about being excited to do math. I sat on the couch with Cody the other night working on fractions, and though I made more errors in simple math than I'm comfortable with, I was encouraged at being able to at least do the problems themselves correctly.
Yeah, I know. Not exactly exciting stuff here, folks. I'm just trying to type my way into an awake and alert state of being.
January 12, 2011
you beg, plead and pace
i believe you
i interrupt myself
i stop what i'm doing
we walk together
you gang up
you tumble into me
patience isn't yours
i open the door
i chain you up
you run out into
go to the grass
go to the grass
the ever-loving grass
do you thing
get back in
too cold to stand at the door
January 11, 2011
Let's not forget to pray for the accused gunman and his family as well.
January 10, 2011
Not a very eventful weekend, really. And due to my sheer laziness the last two days, I really do need to get my butt in gear this morning. We'll see how that works out for me...
January 7, 2011
She all of a sudden decides that she *HAS* to lick. Mainly the floor, but she'll lick the furniture on her way by every once in a while. Nothing will stop her. We've tried holding her, but she just can't stop. She just goes until she's done. Yesterday's fit lasted for over three hours.
The first time this happened, I was able to hold her in one spot with no carpet and give her a lot of love and attention, focusing on a lot of belly patting. I essentially "burped" her until she threw up (hence the carpet-free area) so that I could give her a baby aspirin. At that time, we didn't know what was wrong (still don't), and the aspirin was just to get her to -hopefully- chill out enough to sleep.
I tried "burping" her several times yesterday to no avail. There's just no stopping her. She'll run to the door every once in a while, making you think she's going to expel something from somewhere, but when you put her outside, she just starts eating grass.
The only post I could find online from someone who has experienced the same thing with their own dog indicates it may be a form of seizure of else just a compulsion. The first time it happened, we took her to the vet. Much like pediatricians nowadays, they're quick to just prescribe an antibiotic and send you on your way. So for now, the plan is to just ride it out.
I'm just not sure how much more of this I can take. Not only is it annoying as hell to have a dog running around licking the floor non-stop and coughing because of all the hair she's ingesting. There is also the worry that she'll find something to lick that could really hurt her. Then there's that wonderful feeling of helplessness that occurs when you watch an animal you love go through something like this, and there isn't a thing you can do.
I guess it figures that I would end up with a dog who is just as neurotic as I am...
January 6, 2011
Yesterday, when I went upstairs to pick up where I left off with the office debacle, I stuttered and stammered and paused and poked until I realized that I wasn't getting anywhere. It seems I was at the beginning of one of my off days. Looking back this morning, I can see a few things that I could have done differently, but... coulda'-shoulda'-woulda' and all that jazz.
While in the throes of my funk, the inevitable finally arrived: What the fuck am I doing? What am I *going* to do? *How*, exactly, am I going to go about doing whatever it is I decide I'm going to do. When? (Dear Blogger, please install an underline button. Thanks.)
So yeah, yesterday wasn't the best day I've had on this little journey. I didn't expect that I'd get through this whole big life-changing experience without second-guessing myself. I'm not into playing Pollyanna about life in general, and this is no exception.
Today however, is different. Today, I learned that I'm not alone. Today, I was reminded, is a new day, and a chance to start fresh.
I'm often quite thankful for the people in my life. Days like today though, when God gives me a reminder of just how important those people are to me and why he's put them in my path, humble me and make me so much more thankful.
January 5, 2011
I've dealt a lot with confidence as of late and it's been one hell of a struggle I must say. My whole life I've lacked confidence and the older I get the more I realize how much of a difference confidence can make in my every day life. The shoes I think that are so awesome that I don't buy because I tell myself I couldn't pull the look off. The hair style I don't try because I tell myself people like me don't get daring with their looks, they blend in and don't stand out. If you stand out people might want to talk to you, or possibly even talk about you.
I've lived my life so far in these dark corners, trying desperately to blend in with the carpet, or the wall paper, or whatever I could to not be noticed. I believe it takes confidence to walk into a room full of people you don't know, even if you know one person, just walking into that crowd takes confidence. Did I mention that this situation terrorizes me to within an inch of hysterics? It's completely crazy when I look at it from the outside, but from within me I am paralyzed in the situation.
There has been much discussion with me at work in regards to confidence. Much of my job entails getting customers to trust me and trust in what I have to say. I not only have to say the answer, I have to believe the answer is right, even if I know it could be wrong. It's crazy but that is so hard for me to accomplish. I have tried for weeks and I'm starting to get the hang of it, but it's a very slow process. I very rarely say anything with confidence. I'm either afraid of being wrong, or even worse, upsetting people.
To me confidence is the thing I admire the most. It's the thing I notice, it's the thing that attracts me to others, it's what I admire in others. Most of my friends are confident people, some of them don't believe it, but they are, and if they really aren't? Well they are certainly good at faking it. It's just something I admire so much and require from friendships. Perhaps if I'm around it enough it will start to rub off on me.
I rarely talk to strangers unless required, which makes meeting new people very difficult. I'm cautious about so much in my life because I lack the confidence I feel is required for the situation. This whole post is ironic if I take a step back and look at myself and the things I've done in my life, but to me I don't always see it. Yes I moved away from everyone I know to go back to school at the age of 21. Yes I bought a business at the age of 28 that I had no idea how to run, and yes I moved again at the age of 33. I have done some pretty crazy things when I think about it, but I don't feel that any of them required confidence, maybe stupidity, but not always confidence.
Each small decision I second guess myself. I find it so hard to make a decision sometimes because I never know what's behind that decision. What are the repercussions of that decision, will someone be upset? Will someone be put out? If it's just me, o.k. I can make the decision, but put even just one more person with me and I become a hot mess in making a decision.
Where does confidence stem from? Where does it come from? Who instills it in you? Is it genetic? Is it environmental? What is it and where does it come from? Can it be a learned behavior?
It's just something that's been bouncing around in my head recently.
Cody, being the sweetheart that he is, sleeps with earplugs in his ears to drown out (most) of my (and Winnie's) snoring. That makes it hard for him to hear his alarm clock sometimes, so he asked if I would be willing to continue waking up early to make sure that he doesn't sleep too late. Not to mention he's not a big fan of taking care of all 4 dogs first thing in the morning. This way, I can continue to let the three girls out to do their business and have them fed before he and Tux get up. I'm thinking the dogs aren't the only members of this household that are spoiled...
About the time Cody leaves for work, I've had my second cup of coffee and I am ready to start my day. That's when it dawns on me that I have the whole day ahead of me. Last week was a bit different for me, what with Cody being off work the whole week. I was able to get a lot done, but the two of us took a lot of time to do various things together throughout the week as well. Now that he is back to work though, the day is mine and mine alone. Well, and the dogs, too; they certainly let there needs be known from time to time.
I truly do have enough chores that need to be done around here to keep me busy for quite some time. Add to that list all the things I simply want to accomplish, and I've got quite the full-time job without necessarily leaving the house.
I finally got started on the office/guest room yesterday (Monday), and oy veh!, that is taking a lot more time than I had originally thought it would. I worked fairly steadily in that room yesterday, yet by the time Cody got home from work and I retired to the kitchen to start dinner, I didn't feel like I had accomplished all that much. I sorted and filed all the music I currently have here at home, and then sorted and filed all of the other, um... well, files. That led to cleaning out all my file folders, which then led to shredding documents for over an hour! The good news is that the majority of the paperwork cleaning portion of the project is done. The bad news is, that isn't even the tip of the iceberg yet!
All in all, it has been a fairly productive season around here for me. Truth be told, I'm rather enjoying the opportunity to get my house clean and put into some semblance of order. Yet I know that I can't continue to just clean every day for the rest of my life. My plans and goals for the future are ever-present in my mind, and I will hopefully be making progress in that area very soon.
On top of everything else, I've also considered adding *gulp* exercise to my daily routine. I really must be crazy...
January 4, 2011
I came down to Fremont this morning, and will be staying at my mom and dads until Saturday. Mom and I spent a good chunk of time arranging the flowers I had bought for Aunt Vicky's funeral. When we went to drop them off at the funeral home, I rang the bell twice and no one answered. So I tried the door, and low and behold - it opened!
I walk in and quietly poke my head around various door jambs, peeking into offices and walking down corridors. I tried to find anyone to deliver the flowers to, but the only person I could find was decidedly incapable of offering me any assistance. You see, the unlocked door exposed not only the business offices of the funeral home to uninvited guests, but a "client" as well.
***This post was actually started in October. Having apparently forgotten all about it, I left it sit until I re-discovered it last week. I added only the final two sentences to it; the rest of the post is untouched. If this entry seems a bit stunted and incomplete, I apologize. I would imagine that writing this at the time it happened seemed cathartic to me, but as of now, it feels like picking at a scab before it's ready to fall off on its own.***
January 3, 2011
So I may have kinda' dropped a bit of a bomb in my last post. It was unintentional, I assure you. When I realized what I'd done, I considered editing the post, but then I remembered that once a post hits your reader, it doesn't update. So since the majority of you use a reader of some sort, I figured I may as well just let it ride.
For those of you who have already read the post in question and were left wondering: Yes, I am indeed unemployed at the moment. I can reassure you that it was completely my decision though. I did not get laid-off or fired.
I could go into a lot of long, boring detail I suppose. Since it has been two weeks since I quit though, I really don't have the energy to put myself back into that frame of mind and re-live all of that again. I've been relaxing and pondering and planning, and I have allowed myself to let all of that drama fall into the past.
So while some of you may be chomping at the bit waiting for the gory details, there's not going to be a whole lot of them. Sorry. Suffice it to say that I have been planning to take my leave of Lincoln Electric for quite a while. That job has served it's purpose in providing a good income to support my family and pave the way for me to move on. Now that time of moving on has come, and I have.
I do have a tentative plan that I have been working on, and now that the holiday season is behind us, I will be turning those cogs and gears a bit faster.
December 31, 2010
I had intended to clean the kitchen and possibly the living room yesterday, but got entangled in a web of facebook friend-poaching and, before I knew it, it was time to go meet my friend for lunch (Panera Bread - So yummy!).
I really don't have anything terrible profound to write about today, but I do want to keep the ball rolling so that it doesn't come to a screeching halt!
I feel like I have so much to do today without the time to do it. In reality, I don't *have* to be anywhere until 8pm, so I have all the time in the world, really. I just want the downstairs clean and put back into whatever passes for order in this house. Cody's family will be coming over for dinner tomorrow afternoon/evening, and my goal is to have almost all of the cleaning done before we leave for a party tonight. That way I can prep food in the morning, then clean the bathroom and be done. Time to sit on my butt and relax before family starts showing up and the dogs go crazy.
My poor office. My goal is now to have the office project done by next weekend. I dare not say more, as I have a few tricks up my sleeve that I am going to surprise Cody with. He has been off work all this week, but when he goes back to work on Monday, I'll be going to town on cleaning while he's at work.
Being unemployed certainly has some benefits! It's so much easier to get housework done when Cody isn't here, especially when I get up to no good! If he's not here to ask questions, I have the opportunity to accomplish a task without him knowing so that he sees the finished product and is more likely to be agreeable than if I try to explain it ahead of time.
'Tis infinitely easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission.....
December 30, 2010
It turns out that the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego is common knowledge for those who were raised in church. I was raised by Christian parents, but as a youngster, I never really attended Sunday School. That means a lot of these "common knowledge" Bible stories are completely lost on me. I know *of* a lot of references to these stories, but not the circumstances, and certainly not the details. Daniel in the den of lions, Jonah and the whale, etc... -- They're all vaguely familiar and yet totally lost on me.
So I eventually read about Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. I learned their story, and it turns out that I love it. So I was filled with joy a few weeks ago when I got to read it again as part of my daily reading. -- I have a feed that comes directly into my reader every morning, as I decided last year that I wanted to read the whole Bible. --
The Image of Gold and the Fiery Furnace
1 King Nebuchadnezzar made an image of gold, ninety feet high and nine feet wide, and set it up on the plain of Dura in the province of Babylon. 2 He then summoned the satraps, prefects, governors, advisers, treasurers, judges, magistrates and all the other provincial officials to come to the dedication of the image he had set up. 3 So the satraps, prefects, governors, advisers, treasurers, judges, magistrates and all the other provincial officials assembled for the dedication of the image that King Nebuchadnezzar had set up, and they stood before it. 4 Then the herald loudly proclaimed, “This is what you are commanded to do, O peoples, nations and men of every language: 5 As soon as you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipes and all kinds of music, you must fall down and worship the image of gold that King Nebuchadnezzar has set up. 6 Whoever does not fall down and worship will immediately be thrown into a blazing furnace.” 7 Therefore, as soon as they heard the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp and all kinds of music, all the peoples, nations and men of every language fell down and worshiped the image of gold that King Nebuchadnezzar had set up.
8 At this time some astrologers came forward and denounced the Jews. 9 They said to King Nebuchadnezzar, “O king, live forever! 10 You have issued a decree, O king, that everyone who hears the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipes and all kinds of music must fall down and worship the image of gold, 11 and that whoever does not fall down and worship will be thrown into a blazing furnace. 12 But there are some Jews whom you have set over the affairs of the province of Babylon—Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego—who pay no attention to you, O king. They neither serve your gods nor worship the image of gold you have set up.” 13 Furious with rage, Nebuchadnezzar summoned Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. So these men were brought before the king, 14 and Nebuchadnezzar said to them, “Is it true, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, that you do not serve my gods or worship the image of gold I have set up? 15 Now when you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipes and all kinds of music, if you are ready to fall down and worship the image I made, very good. But if you do not worship it, you will be thrown immediately into a blazing furnace. Then what god will be able to rescue you from my hand?”
16 Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. 17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”
19 Then Nebuchadnezzar was furious with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and his attitude toward them changed. He ordered the furnace heated seven times hotter than usual 20 and commanded some of the strongest soldiers in his army to tie up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and throw them into the blazing furnace. 21 So these men, wearing their robes, trousers, turbans and other clothes, were bound and thrown into the blazing furnace. 22 The king’s command was so urgent and the furnace so hot that the flames of the fire killed the soldiers who took up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, 23 and these three men, firmly tied, fell into the blazing furnace.
24 Then King Nebuchadnezzar leaped to his feet in amazement and asked his advisers, “Weren’t there three men that we tied up and threw into the fire?” They replied, “Certainly, O king.” 25 He said, “Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a son of the gods.” 26 Nebuchadnezzar then approached the opening of the blazing furnace and shouted, “Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out! Come here!” So Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego came out of the fire, 27 and the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them.
28 Then Nebuchadnezzar said, “Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who has sent his angel and rescued his servants! They trusted in him and defied the king’s command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God. 29 Therefore I decree that the people of any nation or language who say anything against the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego be cut into pieces and their houses be turned into piles of rubble, for no other god can save in this way.” 30 Then the king promoted Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the province of Babylon.I can't help it; I really do love that story. I just wanted to share that with you today!
December 29, 2010
I've also been saving a post in my reader as unread so that I could write a post about that. So I finally copied and pasted it over here to try and speed up that process. Not to mention it also gives me the freedom to not have to constantly click "Keep Unread" every time I scroll by it...
So this post will make day three, plus the two mentioned above, which brings us up to five posts! That's almost as much as I've posted this whole year!!!
I have a lot I *need* to write about as well, so that should be worth at least another week. In addition to all of that, I've been invited to participate in the "One Word" thingy by Bethany, which is vaguely intriguing to me. Hmmm.... maybe I'll be a writer when I grow up?
P.S. @Pete - I love it when you're random. It's the glue that binds all of us together!
December 28, 2010
I had set the laptop aside to get dressed and get a little housework done. Since a lot of what I've got at the top of my to-do list hinges on getting my laundry put away, and my office (where my clothes are) is currently an ice-box of death, it turns out I've got time to start another post after all.
I really do need to get that damn office cleaned out. Since starting the planning and implementation of the Christmas concert at church, my office has spiraled out of control! The guest bed is piled with clutter of all sorts: books to be shared/donated, music the choir has performed that needs to be filed away, music that needs to updated/arranged/listened to/copied/distributed for future performances, files to be filed, files to be sorted/shredded/set aside to start another pile somewhere else, CD boxes that need to be tucked back into their obscure corners, etc. ad infinitum... Let's not forget that the bed itself needs to be stripped and taken apart to be donated to someone, somewhere, at some point in the near future...
Since I'm so limited on space in that office, our guest bed is going to be given away and replaced with an air bed (post-Thanksgiving sale, baby!) that can be folded up and stored in a closet. While I've lived here, that bed has been used on a total of two occasions, aside from when I was sick, so I think it will be safe to rid myself of the damn thing. Hopefully once I get everything that is currently hiding under the bed put into a new storage location, I'll have enough floor space to move around and *gasp* actually get some work done in my office from time to time!
For now, I'll settle for getting all the debris cleared off...
December 27, 2010
So, all that being said (written?), I really am going to try and be more intentional about blogging again. It's something I have enjoyed in the past, and has proven helpful in many situations. Not to mention it's a great way to communicate with far-flung friends and family members.
I have particular reasons for feeling like I need to write more now, which I'll cover eventually. For now, suffice it to say I've got the time and the desire. I just have to be more intentional about not writing a novella one day and then nothing for a week. I've got to shorten these posts a bit and schedule them to post later so that I don't "have" to write everyday if I get busy or just don't want to.
I'm not sure how far I'll get today. The little Christmas tree Cody and I bought to put up on the mantle out of reach of the dogs decided to take a tumble last night. Ironically enough, the reason we did that was to save our ornaments from destruction by these crazy dogs and their impromptu wrestling matches. Luckily we only lost two ornaments, despite a fall from about 4 feet.
So even though I had intended to leave the tree up through the weekend since we put it up late this year, I'm now going to be taking the tree down today. Most of the ornaments came off in the crash, so rather than take the time to re-hang them, I'm just going to put them away. I never got around to putting all the boxes back in the attic last week anyway, so getting those out of the way will be nice too.
I'm not promising anything, but hopefully I'll knock out at least a few posts this week and get them all scheduled to run this week...
Oh, and Merry Christmas!
September 25, 2010
So Cody and I will be headed south to Cinci in a couple of hours, but I wanted to write this before we leave. See, part of the reason we're headed down there is to celebrate the sale of Pete's store, and his big move and new start.
The idea of a surprise celebration dinner was thrown into the ring, and being the lover of food that I am, how could I resist. The Ladies Linn have suggested that during this dinner, we all talk about how awesome Pete is and give little mini-speeches extolling his virtues and talking about how proud of him we are. A wonderful idea, in my book!
Since I'm horrible about remembering all the things I want to say when I get put on the spot, I wanted to get it all saved here just in case. Not to mention, it gives all of YOU the opportunity to tell Pete how awesometastic he is as well!!!
In the few short years I have known him, Pete has grown by leaps and bounds. He has had so many struggles and issues to deal with, and yet come out swinging and on top every time! Upon first meeting, most would assume that Pete is shy and reserved. Little do they know, he is one of the most tenacious people I know.
After college, he was stuck in a terrible work environment, but he was working in his field of study, and let's face it -- the economy and job market haven't been great to our generation thus far! Upon hearing that a carry-out store in his hometown was up for sale, Pete decided he deserved more and pushed, pulled, prodded and pried his way into a new life as a store owner and businessman.
He could give you a laundry list of all the drama, hiccups and bills he went through during this period of life, but if you ask anyone close to him, they would poo-poo that right away. Not that he hasn't suffered more than his fair share of hard knocks, but he certainly did more good than bed in those years.
Despite going it alone and not having much financial backing, Pete was able to keep his business afloat for several years before deciding it was time to move on. He outlasted a lot more trials than I think most of us would. I know that I, for certain would have thrown in the towel a long, long time ago! Not Pete, though! He kept the business going, worked another job outside of there to keep the lights on, dealt with surly customers and immature employees for years because it was his dream, and he wanted it to thrive.
Even when the economy got worse, and pretty much crippled his business, he kept his heart in it and busted himself up physically and mentally on a daily basis to keep the doors open. He continued to remodel, rehab, and refurbish an outdated and challenging building. Yet he kept his focus on the customer and the goal the entire time.
He never forgot his dream, nor did he give up on it. He kept pushing until he could push no more, and then pushed some more. To the detriment of his health, Pete would get very little sleep and still manage to work two jobs.
Unfortunately, all the extra hours and stress eventually started to take a physiological toll on Pete at the same time. Though he never walked away, those nearest and dearest to him started to voice their concern, and eventually got through to Pete that something had to give, and it couldn't be him!
After a lot of heartbreaking consideration and soul-searching, Pete realize his time in that store was done. He had followed his passion to the end of it's road, and even though the destination looked different than he had thought it would when he set out on his journey, he was still a success. He had lived his dream; now it is time to move on to other dreams.
In the midst of all of this, Pete experienced a lot of other outside drama as well. Some directly affected him, and some only affected him indirectly. All of it wore Pete down to the point of throwing his hands in the air and giving up, but he Never. Did.
So while I've only touched the tip of the iceberg of your awesomeness, Pete, I want to let you know how very proud of you I am. You've been kicking ass and slaying dragons since I've known you, and I know you've got farther to go. I'm excited to see you at the start of yet another dream being fulfilled!!!
September 12, 2010
Unfortunately, my enthusiasm was short-lived since while waiting for my Blogger dashboard to load, I made the mistake of looking at the weather forecast. To know me is to know that I hate, nay despise being cold. It sucks the life and energy right out of me. Now it seems that autumn is upon us in all it's colorful splendor and that means the long-sleeves, sweatshirts, jackets and such need to be drug out to the front of the closets. So long Hawaiian print short sleeve shirts; hello dry, cracked skin and cold drippy nose.
Ugh. My muscles ache just thinking about all the shivering I'll be enduring soon. The house will be sealed up and stale within a few weeks, and the only play time I'll get in the yard is the unceremonious hacking down of the foliage in the flower beds. There's raking leaves to look forward to as well, but as much as I love blisters on my hands and shivering and sweating at the same time, I'm just tired of it.
The whole thing is so annoying, really. I shouldn't be such a Gloomy Gus, since I know there are so many people around here that don't have warm clothes or a safe place to sleep. I don't mean to be ungrateful, but - Waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The sad thing is, I'm starting to get attached to some and the people and places around here. I can't see giving up our church and the family we've formed there. Not that it matters, as Cody is quite adamant that moving out of the state to head to a warmer climate is just not an option for him. I haven't gotten to the point where being warm is more important than him (yet), so I guess we'll be staying together in Ohio for the long haul.
I would still love to buy a huge piece of property in the mountains down south and go all John-Boy Walton. Well, I guess that's a bad example since he ached to get off of Walton's mountain to be a writer in the big city. I think I'd make a good Olivia though. Not that I want to be a woman and wear a dress, but I think I'd do a pretty good job of holding down the fort.
Cody thinks I'm insane, and while that point is certainly debatable, I am unanimous in this! I love the mountains and all that entails. I can't imagine being retired and growing old in the city. When I think of my old age, I think of a secluded life in the mountains, surrounded by nature and only what I really need. How I would love to live that dream now, but unfortunately the days of trading pelts in town for your staples are long gone.
I long to roam the forests and glens, the peaks and valleys. I yearn for the comfort of a quilt and a roaring fire, my man and my dogs at my side. To spend my days taking care of my own property instead of building the fortunes of others. Cutting my own wood rather than paying a corrupt system to deliver what little is left of the earth's more precious commodities.
See? I already sound like a grizzled old codger, so I may as well go with it, right?