I admit it, I am.
I didn't write this post as a post. It's actually an email to my parents that I copied and pasted here because I'm too lazy to write anymore. It is, however, pretty much what I would write if I were to create a new post, so there's that.
I haven't touched base with you guys in so long! I miss you. Just wanted to send out a quick note to let you know that and to try and update you on what's up with me lately.
Registration for the summer term started this week, and I've found that I need to take the placement tests even if I'm not registering for math or english this time around. Apparently, they want to make sure you can read and write before taking classes....
I *attempted* to go take the tests yesterday morning, but I got seriously lost and confused once I drove onto the campus. I start to have a bit of an anxiety attack, got frustrated and left. The buildings aren't very well marked for vehicle traffic (a lot of signs on the sidewalks in front of buildings you can't read from the road), and I had NO clue where to park or what building to go to. Not to mention the hordes of students trying to get to and from their classes in the rain.
I came home and called Cody's brother, who works for the college, and told him where I needed to go and he straightened me out. So I'll make another attempt this morning, with hopefully better results. :)
I was still kind of worked up on my way home, so I didn't do the other thing I had intended to do either, which was to pick up an application. The Aldi located between here and the campus is (or was as of last weekend) hiring cashiers at $11.00/hr. Not my dream job, but that's a decent wage for the work.
As far as my major, I'm still pulled in 452 different directions about that mentally and emotionally. I realized several weeks ago during choir practice that I was doing what I loved to do, and I was finally in a position to maybe follow that passion. I don't know where that would lead me, but that's just another item on a long list of things I don't know right now. :)
I told Pastor Allen a few weeks ago when we met for dinner that while I think I *would/could* be a good nurse, I don't really *want* to be a nurse. I like the idea of it, and I've heard so many people tell me I "should be" a nurse, or would be good at it, I think I've just kind of internalized everyone else telling me their good intentions and lost my own along the way.
A friend mentioned a week or so ago that I should get my nursing degree, minor in music, and then work as a music therapist. I latched onto that, and before I knew it, I was looking at nursing programs again. To be a certified music therapist, you do need a bachelors degree, with a focus on either music or psychology/medicine. Well, when I realized I was headed down the wrong road, I reigned myself in and stopped that train before it left the station.
So, long story short, I still feel like a 17-year-old being handed my diploma and trying to figure out, "What do I want to 'BE' when I grow up?"
For right now at least, I'm okay with not knowing. I'm going to start taking classes and work toward a degree, and I'm sure I'll get Guidance along the way. In the meantime, I have to be realistic and get a job though. This time around, though, I'm going to make my job work around me instead of the other way around.
God didn't bring me this far for me to get back into debt again, but I know He didn't plan for me to be a slave to money, either.
So that's all (or most all, anyway) the news that's fit to print. How are you two doing?
Love and miss you,