March 24, 2009

here we go again

Well folks, I've got about a half hour of "me" time before I need to get ready for work. I usually spend my mornings catching up on blogs and reading the news, but since it's a bit of a slow news day, I find myself with a little extra time.

Well, there is a little news to share, via Sharen: Send your thoughts and prayers this way, if you get a moment.

I'm not sure how far I'll be able to get in 30 minutes, so let's just jump right in. Hubby got laid off yesterday. Yeah. Sucks. That's what prevented me from hopping on here and writing the post I had promised yesterday. I spent the day flitting around the house cleaning and being all June Cleaver and shit, with the intention to wind down after dinner and write here for a bit.

Well, Cody called about a half hour after leaving for work yesterday afternoon to let me know he had been laid off, and could I please drive out with my truck to pick up his tool boxes.

*sigh*

I don't want to puff up my chest too much or anything here, but I was kind of proud of myself while we were loading his tool boxes. I don't remember what he said, but I stayed completely quiet for almost a full minute, then calmly said, "I'm not mad at you, but I don't trust myself to talk right now."

Who was that guy?

It felt good to hold my tongue for a change. No guilty feelings from running my mouth too far or too angrily. I'm going to try to remember to do that more often.

So I wanted to write yesterday about how things have been going around here lately, and a big part of that is kind of a follow-up to my earlier post about the church I had found that I was so eager to try out.

I'm going to get there eventually but I don't know that I'll have time this morning to do that. What I'd really like to say is something I mentioned briefly in and e-mail that I quickly fired off to a friend last night before bed.

I only told one person last night about Cody being laid off. He made a couple of phone calls himself yesterday, both of which I encouraged him to make. I thought he needed to let his mom know before his weekly lunch with her on Friday so as to avoid any possible hurt feelings from not telling her. The other was to two of our closer friends, not so much to let them know what was going on, but because one of them was laid off a couple of months ago, and is currently taking advantage of an educational opportunity that I thought Cody could benefit from if he qualifies.

The reason I had only e-mailed one person was because she has been a prayer warrior for Cody and myself in the past, and I decided it would be uber-helpful to have her jump on it as soon as possible.

I didn't rush to let everyone else know about it for the simple fact that I refuse to go into panic mode, or let this affect me in the way it would have in the past.

I am not giving in to worry. I started to become overwhelmed back in December when they moved me to a job with lower pay and started laying people off at work. Then, when they cut hourly employees (that includes me) back to a 32 hour work week, I started stressing more. I decided at that point to give up my worries to God. I wasn't dealing with it very well at all, and I asked God to take the burden of concern from me. True to His word, He has been faithful in doing that very thing from that moment forward. The only time worry and stress start to press in on me since then has been when I give in to myself and start participating in the gossip and telling tales at work. Once I start doubting, the worry starts flooding back into my mind, and I realize I'm not trusting God to do what I asked Him to do, and I have to check myself.

Therein lies the secret to why I kept my mouth shut yesterday. I'm not going to give in to the temptation to shout my woes and hurts from the rooftops. Not this time.

I've noticed over the past few months, that closer I try to press in to God, the harder the enemy presses against me.

I'm on to him.

I'm not playing that game.

I refuse to give over my life, my relationship with God, my relationship with Cody. I'm not turning tail and running from this. I'm going to press through harder, and fight even more viciously than ever before.

So while it would be easy for me to despair and be worried about where we go from here, I refuse to give in to that mentality. That's why I didn't blog about this last night. I needed to first bring this to God and let it settle in my mind and spirit, and allow His peace to return before opening my mouth.

So, rather than shouting my bad news from the rooftops and begging you to pray for us, I'm shouting the good news of God's peace from the rooftops and telling you how awesome it is to know Him and feel His presence in spite of the seeming hurdle in front of us.

I will always appreciate any prayers. I only ask that you don't send up a "pity prayer" today. Send up a prayer of thanks that through Christ, Cody and I have already overcome this. Pray that God grant us the strength and wisdom we need to follow His course by His will.

I refuse to be sad. I refuse to give in to the temptation to be afraid of a single income in a bad job market. God will provide for our needs, including our peace.

Now I need to get ready for work. I'll get to that other post soon. Promise.

2 comments:

Pete said...

I'll be happy to send a prayer up for you for exactly the reason you wanted it, for thanks.

I'm also going to take notes on your attitude and try and use your courage and faith as inspiration to let go of my own worries and sorrows.

Tim said...

Jake, I'm praying for you and Cody, believing all things will work out according to God's purpose. Your courage and confidence inspire me greatly!

My brother lost his job six months ago, losing the sole income for his wife and kids. And yet every time I talk to him, he's constantly saying what a blessing this has been--getting to spend more time with the family, appreciating things he was too busy to see before, and having to place all his trust in God. He's weary, but not one bit tired. And his faith has never been stronger.

God's ways--well, we just never know what He's up to until He's finished. And I know once you guys come through this you'll not only understand why, but be grateful you did!

Blessings during this time of renewal and resurrection. Our God is alive and He cares!

Tim