September 29, 2009

because i still have over an hour before work

  Yeah, I know.  Two posts in one week.  That certainly hasn't happened in a while. 

  I have to be honest though.  I don't really want to post right now.  What I really want is to rewind to about 3pm yesterday.

  That's when I went to the doctor for my follow-up appointment.  Not that I got devastating news or anything.  All my labs came back good.  But a pleasant conversation was not had.  I came home rather aggravated.  It took a while, but I finally managed to spit it all out to Cody and finished up about 5 minutes before his mother arrived for dinner. 

  We had a pleasant dinner (chili! yum!), and his younger brother also came over after he got off work.  By the time we finished dinner and were watching TV together, I was just getting settled in my chair and regretting that the Reese's Peanut Butter Pumpkins that I was craving for dessert were all the way in the kitchen.

  Then my cell phone rang.  I jumped up, expecting it to be my brother who tends to call about once a week (he's much more faithful about these things than I am, and thankfully he's accepted his role as the one who has to initiate a phone call), but I saw it was actually my mom.  Ordinarily, I would let my phone go to voice mail when we have company, but since my I hadn't talked to her in a while, not to mention the fact that she gets aggravated that I'm not always immediately available when she calls, I figured I better answer it.

  Oh, how I wish I hadn't.

  I ran upstairs with the phone and went into the bathroom to sit on the toilet lid and have a cigarette while I talked to her since we had company downstairs and I don't smoke in my office anymore.  Sitting out on the patio last night was definitely not an option. 

  She asked me a little about work and I explained what's been going on there lately, and then we talked a little bit about the coming weekend.  Cody and I are supposed to head out to our friend's house this weekend for a clam back (ick!) and the final campout of the year.  My mom and dad want to take my brother and sister in law to Yankee Peddler (an outdoor craft market of sorts that I'm too lazy to go looking for a link), which means we're all hoping for agreeable weather.

  Then my mom asked if I had talked to my Aunt Amey.  The timing was a little odd, but it didn't really throw me too much.  If she gets any "family news", she'll throw a feeler out to see if I'm up to date yet before she repeats a bunch of stuff I already know.  I told her that I hadn't heard from her in about a week or so, and asked what was up.

  Mind you, other than the frustration with the doctor, I had been a pretty good high since Sunday morning.  I had gotten baptized, and Pastor and the worship team at church had used the occasion to create a beautiful service centered around the act of baptism and what it means and an opportunity for the rest of the congregation to remember their own baptism and celebrate it.

  We then went on to have lunch with Pastor and a handful of friends from church, which despite my discomfort with Cody's questionable jokes, was an amazing experience in itself. 

  A brief nap and change of clothes later, we met a group of our friends from church and other circles back at the church for a phenomenal concert.  The event was opened by a local christian singer/songwriter, who was most excellent in her own right.  She did a quick little set with an acoustic guitar, and was quite talented!  Her name escapes me at the moment, so if you're reading this Pastor, please drop her name in the comment and I'll be sure to update the post!

  The main attraction for the evening was Jason & deMarco, a duo formed by two young men who are partners in life as well as in their music ministry.  They were incredible.  Some original songs, some covers of familiar songs (an incredible rendition of Ave Maria which got a standing ovation was one notable example), and a little humor thrown in made for a wonderful evening. 

  There was a reception afterwards, filled with mounds and mounds of yummy cookies and other baked good(ie)s.  Jason & deMarco manned the merchandise table themselves and talked to everyone going through the line in a very personable and authentic way that you don't see too often.  They signed any and every CD when requested, and hopefully got some much needed support for their ministry.

  It was quite an evening, and the perfect cap to an awesome day.  Which is why I was still in such good spirits yesterday before my mom called.  It's also why the blow of bad news she had called to pass along was so devastating.  I would have crashed to earth fairly hard any other day, to be sure.  But to go from such high spirits to what I got last night was pretty rough.

  Apparently sometime Sunday night my cousin was in an accident.  I don't know any details at all, really.  I don't know if my mom just didn't share them or if she didn't know either.  So I don't know what happened or how.  All I know is that the neurosurgeons at the hospital had told my aunt and uncle that there really wasn't anything they could do, and from what I understand, my cousin is at this point only on life support as a means to keep his organs viable until they find recipients for them.

  I managed the news pretty well coming from mom.  The rest of the conversation pretty much consisted of shocked silence on my part while mom promised to call with any updates. 

  I stayed in the bathroom for a few minutes to pray after I hung up the phone, then called downstairs to Cody so I could let him know.  He came up and we went in the bedroom so I could tell him without worrying about his mom or brother hearing me cry.  I wanted to let him know what was going on and that I'd likely be going to West Virginia fairly soon.  And I wanted a hug.  I needed a hug.

  I did cry a little, particularly when I told Cody and while he held me.  Not too out of the ordinary for me.  I don't cry as much as I used to, and while it bothers me sometimes, I'm kinda used to it.

  Cody went back downstairs, and I came in here to write a quick email to Pastor and Bethany to ask for prayers.  I didn't get two lines out before the waterworks started, and once they did, holy crap.  I was ugly crying.  I haven't cried like that in I don't know how long.  I hate ugly crying.  It took me almost 20 minutes to write one little email, because I couldn't see, couldn't breathe, couldn't stop shaking and sobbing.  If I don't go through that again for the rest of my life, I'll be happy.

  Once I finally managed to collect myself and make it back downstairs, I was pretty okay for the rest of the night.  I managed to make it through the evening till about 9pm before I hit the sack with no reoccurence of ugliness, thankfully.

  Then my beautiful, wonderful, sweet and kind dog decided to wake me up at 1:30am.  If I wake up and have to pee, I can go back to bed.  But when it's one of the dogs, by the time I make it through the whole process, I can't go back to sleep.

  So I've been trolling the interwebs all morning, damn near finishing off a whole pot of coffee thus far.  I checked my news feeds, shopped on Amazon, played on facebook (thanks for the survey, Pete), and read a few blogs.  All by 5am. 

  I foresee a significant amount of Mountain Dew in my future.

September 27, 2009

as if i'm not already in a tizzy...

  Hey Gang.  Don't mind me.  Mild panic attack, but all will be fine.  I was determined to post this morning, and even though I "feel" like I'm running behind, I know it's just nerves, so I'm going to do it.  Not only because it's been forever, but it's gotten to the point where even though Robert mentioned my lack of posts, Pete has given up on begging me.  So I'm taking that as a pretty big sign that it has been way too long.

  At any rate, I'm nearing hysteria because the process of selecting a shirt to wear this morning culminated in my yanking every shirt I haven't worn in over two months out of my closet in a fit of rage.  See, I stopped smoking in my office a couple of months ago in an effort to keep the clothes in my door-less closet clean.  Yet, due to my procrastination in washing said clothes, they're still all covered in dust and nicotine.  That nice white shirt with the blue and black pinstripes I was going to wear today?  Yeah.  Stained.  So I've got the three white shirts I still own (I'm too accident prone to wear white, really. Not to mention the sweaty armpits, but I digress.) in the washing machine right now.  Thank God for sloppy metrosexuals infiltrating our culture, so I won't have to iron the shirt before church.  Slightly wrinkled seems to be the way to go as of late, so I should be in the clear.  The style of shirt, thankfully, does not necessitate a crisp, pressed look.  (Is "necessitate" even a word?)

  So it's been a bit crazy lately, which would normally be perfect fodder for blogging, right?  Not so much.  I still can't get back into the swing of it.  I am still just as addicted as ever to reading all manner of blogs.  I just don't have enough "umph" to actually write one.  Good intentions, yes.  Horrible follow-through.

  So I've had a couple of rants stewing as of late, which may still be forthcoming.  Today I don't have the time though.  In addition to the laundry crisis, I still have to shave and shower before church, too.  Today's kinda a big day for me, so I want to stay "up" and not bog myself down with the aggravation that ranting would be sure to cause.

  Today is my



  I won't panic.  I won't panic. I won't... I'm lying.  I'm freaking out.  I now have one hour and fifteen minutes to get my clothes cleaned and dried, shave and take a shower, get dressed and pack my bag for church.  Yes, I have to pack a bag for church.  Today is the day I get baptized!

  I joined the church a while back, and re-affirmed my faith at the same time (Something I try to do regularly anyway, being the heathen that I am. It's just usually between God and myself, rather than in front of a congregation.), and I asked Pastor if I could be baptized.  I have been baptized once, long long ago, but wanted to participate in the affirmation of my faith as an adult. 

  I had a couple of friends at work get a little bent out of shape when I mentioned it in passing this past week while telling a little anecdote about Cody thinking that Pastor was messing with him ("Is Titus really a book in the Bible?!"), so I'm now rather conscious of the fact that some people may be aggravated with me when they read this post because I didn't tell them either. 

  I didn't really tell anyone, actually.  So please don't be hurt if you feel I've left you out of the loop.  There wasn't really a loop to begin with.

  I'm excited though, because (as you'll see if you follow my little linky-loo), Pastor and the worship team went out of there way to make an awesome service out of this day.  Pastor decided, and I agreed, that it would be a great opportunity for one of the more "contemporary" services, and I'm stoked to see what they've come up with.

  Plus, my friend Jeanette is going to come watch me get dunked, which is awesome cause I always want my friends to come check out how fantastic my church is!  Although she's threatening to bring a camera, too.  I may have to hurt her.

  M'kay. I really do need to get my butt in gear.  This face ain't gonna shave itself!

  OOOOOOHHHHHH!  I almost forgot!  Come to this concert tonight if you can make it!  We'd love to have you!!!!!!!!